Fear of Failure is not a fear of something that is really, really, hard for you to do. Fear of failure is not a fear of something that is really, really easy for you to do. Fear of failure most clearly rears its powerful head when you are faced with something that truly tests your ability AND if you fail, you think it defines your ability.

Let me give you an example.

  • Example 1: Really, Really Hard: If you were on one side of the basketball court and you were dared to try and make a shot on the completely other side. You would just try it and you would know, since it’s so incredibly difficult, it would be no big deal if you miss; most people would. No fear of failure.
  • Example 2: Really, Really, Easy: If you were standing on a ladder on top of the basket and you had to put the ball in the basket. You would just do it and not worry about getting it in because you KNEW you could do it. No fear of failure.
  • Example 3: Standing at the free throw line with your teammates around you. This is where fear of failure sets in. This is a task that you could just as possibly accomplish as you could fail. Then, you start to think about how this particular task will define your ability. Fear of failure.

So, let’s break down some major issues that are going on in the mind of a youth when it comes to fear of failure:

1) Failure of this task defines my ability

2) I’m evaluating myself WHILE I do this

3) What others think defines me

Once we break it down, it gets a little easier to overcome.

First of all we MUST, I repeat MUST allow our youth to embrace failure as an OPPORTUNITY to learn. I mean like etch it into their brains!! A “bridge to better” instead of a window being closed that is permanently defining. The Higher Power Mind skill of MENTAL FILTER (Confidence LESSON) addresses this very issue.

Second, our minds can only do one thing at a time. From a brain stand point, multi-tasking is actually multi-shifting. So, if youth are focused on anything but the task at hand (like self-evaluation) they literally can’t be focused on the right thing at the right time; in this case it’s the basket. The Higher Power Mind skill of wiN (Attention Control LESSON) addresses this very issue.

Third of all, God defines you. You are His masterpiece….always. I certainly wouldn’t suggest that this would not be a hard situation for a youth, but what I’m saying is that they do get to control how they respond. The Higher Power Mind skill of CAN CONTROL (Performing Under Pressure LESSON) addresses this very issue.

Just a reminder, that youth will not default to these skills, they need to be taught and practiced. Otherwise, we just leave mental resilience up to chance. Let’s help youth get a Higher Power Mind!

Blessings and much love,

Holly

Dear God, I pray that whoever reads this will get a word, idea, or any type of wisdom that will help youth get a Higher Power Mind.