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The "Why" Millions are getting ill with this awful virus; some even dying, many of us are suffering financially and emotionally, many are trying to work from home and help our kids that aren't in school, we don’t get to see friends and family like we want, racial injustice is being more exposed, places of worship and businesses are shutting down, we're witnessing protests that turn violent and watching our Capital get stormed. As I write, I see myself in these words and feel the sadness of it all. If I truly allow myself to feel the grief that I have [...]

Sometimes when my kids try things it is clear that they aren't doing very good. Yes, it's ok to say that. For example, my little boy tried to jump rope the other day and missed every jump. EVERY. SINGLE. JUMP. He turned to me and said, "I'm not good at this". He was right and I wasn't going to lie and say he was doing great in order to make him feel like everything should come easy. BUT, what I did do is I asked him to repeat it by saying "YET" at the end. So he said "I'm not good [...]

I think when you get to know Jesus more, doing things different becomes more comfortable. This is a great example of doing something different out of kindness for anything human being right on the heels of a tough performance. The Higher Power Mind Skill of Mental Filter in the CONFIDENCE lesson can also be applied to this great example. https://athletesinaction.org/quickhits/naomi-and-coco-teach-sportsmanship#.XXAONShKiwU

It happens all the time. You know, the moment when your child walks off the field after a game during which he got little or no playing time. Alternatively, maybe it’s when she suffers an unexpected loss to an opponent who is far below her skill level. Perhaps it occurs when your child just choked under pressure in the big game. Regardless of the situation, these moments are hard for anyone. The child is emotionally charged, and you’re left wondering, “How should I handle this?” While we can’t tell you exactly what to say in these situations, we do know that [...]

I, like many of you, shutter when you hear youth say, “I can’t”. There is just this visceral response in me that wants to grab the nearest set of pom poms and say, “You can, you can”. But sometimes motivation is more than that. Sometimes it requires picking up youth responses in a little more strategic way. Enter the world of optimism. Optimism is not always about the world being rainbows and daisies (love me some rainbows and daisies though) but it is about hope for great things to come and it can be learned. Several years ago a man by [...]

I let my little girl pick her own outfit and do her own hair and head off to school the other day. I may still have a cut on my tongue from where I bit it in order to not tell her how ridiculous I thought she looked. The thing is, she loved it. She was so happy, so I shut my mouth, gave her a big smile and off she went. I am a recovered perfectionist and little things like this help not only me, but also help my daughter avoid some idea that she has to look or be [...]

Do you believe someone can have self-confidence but not have self-esteem? Read on, my friend! I never really thought there was much of a difference between these two. But the truth it, there is a difference and it’s important that we nurture both of them in youth. Self-confidence is described as “belief in one’s ability”. For example, “I’m a great singer”, “I can kick the ball really well”, “I can overcome challenges”, or “I am smart”. Each of these statements represent a belief in abilities. Self-esteem is a belief that we are valued as a human being; self-respect. For example, “I [...]

Personally, I’m loving March Madness right now because my team, University of Virginia, just won it all, baby! The 2019 NCAA College Basketball National Champions! I’ve made it a general philosophy not to pray for a team to win or lose, but man, if ever there was a time to almost break it, it was this! (For the record, I do pray for things like strength, wisdom, endurance, etc. for all the various performers during the game though) Here’s why we love March Madness….because it’s a clean slate. Teams get to move beyond everything they’ve done in the past and start [...]

Often times people ask me what I think is the most important mental skill. Some typical answers are "the one you need most", or "all of them", or "the one that is your biggest strength". In other words....it depends! But, I think what they are asking is what truly gives us the freedom to consistently perform at our best. In that case, this is my answer: Knowing you are loved and valued no matter how you perform. This may sound ironic and it is certainly not the vibe people get from society, but things based on Jesus are not of this [...]

I have a theory about what helps Tom Brady continue to go to Super Bowl, after Super Bowl, after Super bowl….ok, I won’t do this 9 times. Here’s the thing. It’s hard to get to the top, but it could be said that it is just as hard or harder to stay there. In our efforts to accomplish our goals, we often focus on achieving the goal, as we should. But what happens once we get it? We should celebrate, praise God, receive the joy, and intentionally reflect on what God did to get us to that point. Sometimes, what also [...]